About that difficult post in Zhengzhou

We've had a few of days to let it sink in and process things.  It's not
that the place where she was for part of her life was so bad... because it
wasn't. She was given love, food, and medical care all of which we are
so grateful for.  That's the bright side.

From the moment we went to the orphanage, we could tell that they care for
these children and only want them to have a loving home and the opportunity
for a good life.  We received a book with lots of pictures from her time at
the orphanage.  There were notes from her nannies written in Chinese and
translated for us.  The notes to our daughter were of love for her and hopes
for a bright future.  They also wanted her to remember her roots. 

Now to the not so bright side.  It was so difficult to walk into that building.
We knew months ago that we wanted...needed to see where she lived.  When you
are on the other side of the world just looking at the cute little boys and girls
waiting for families, it's easy to forget where they live.  There are so many
needing attention that they don't get a lot of one on one time.  They do spend
a lot of time in their cribs or alone on floor or in walkers because there just
aren't enough nannies to give each child the special attention they need.

There aren't just little ones there.  There are older children waiting for families
as well.  Children who will probably wait forever.  We asked the orphanage
director what happens to the children that don't find families.  He told us that
the ones who are able to go to school and finish (orphanage school), they
usually find some kind of job (most likely very low paying) and are then on
their own. The children who have mental/physical disabilities and age out are
sent to another facility to live out the rest of their lives.

We will never forget the sounds, smells and esp. the faces of the children
at our daughter's orphanage.  We just wish we could translate these things
to our blog post to allow people to experience it for themselves.
We think it would be more difficult for people to turn away from the need.
These precious children just want a loving family to call their own.  We're
not saying that everyone should go out and adopt, because adoption isn't
for everyone. It's not an easy road to travel.  It's a walk in faith.

We will never forget her finding place either.  We were given the finding
ad (ad in the newspaper that has the child's picture, location of finding place
etc. The ad is placed to allow family to claim the child before they are placed
in the care of the orphanage.).  The ad described her finding spot, what she
was wearing, and the fact that she was wrapped in a blanket.  Inside the
blanket was 200 RMB.  We assume that the money was placed there to
help whoever found her possibly provide her food and get her either to
a hospital or the orphange.  It seems from this that her mother cared for her. 
Even though she might not have wanted to give up her daughter, that due
to her medical condition she felt she had no choice.  I can't even begin
to understand what that must have felt like.  To love your child so much
that you put her in a place that you know she'll be found, provide some
money for her care and hope that she gets the care and love she needs.
We will never let Q forget that her mother loved her.  Yes, it will be
difficult to explain to her why she was given up.  It will be just as
difficult for her to understand. 

Not sure how to end this post...I've been wrestling with it for a few days
now. Like I said at the beginning of the post, it's taken a few days for us
to let things sink in...process the things we saw.  We will never be the
same.  As S said before, we're thankful for Q and the blessings she will
bring to our family. She's been part of our family for a week and a day but
it feels like much longer (in a good way).  People have said she's lucky, but
we think it's the other way around.  We are so glad that we listened to God
and traveled this road.

I'm not telling people to go and adopt as I've said before, it's not for
everyone.  Maybe advocate for orphans by raising money for
needed items.  Pray for those in the process and the children waiting for
families.  If God has spoken to your heart and you've been afraid to
listen....don't be afraid...He's right there with you, every step of the way.